we have made many friends here and we have many precious memories that we shall treasure forever from the time we spent here.
This was the last day we will wear our green school uniforms; this would be the last day our teachers would watch over us; and it was the last day that we will be seeing some of their friends who had over time became a huge part of our young lives.
i'll definitely miss you guys. and my awesome class.
I know this year 2010, freedom is draining out of us as Olevels is nearing. Counting down, 80more day...42more days...18more days..today.. Everyone had led a stressful, hectic life. yea, and i had bills to worry about. These 6subjects had definitely led to a mountain of stress. I even thought that my life probably will never be stress-free. I don't think that's even desirable, even if it is possible, because these freaking stress is something that challenges us and helps us to grow. At a pretty reasonable level..
I remember myself being in Primary school... as i lie on my bed thinking about the past events, thinking why didn't i study hard to get into the Express stream? am i really that stupid? we only had 4freaking subjects to study and i did horribly bad. i remembered shifting school for 3times, poi ching school, geylang methodist primary and lastly hougang primary. I can't remember why...
In 2006, i got into Yio Chu Kang Secondary, everyone was praising the school at that point of time. I thought it was good. so..but now i thought it was... (okay no comments). we had the chance to reveal our reality to new faces which came out of the blue. We had the audacity to make new good friends, i remembered myself desperately looking for a friend, definitely must be English speaking and easy to communicate with. And i found a best friend. During that age, we had all sorts of imaginary BFFs thing. We even ranked our friends, who is the top1 and top2. and that sucks because we are actually comparing. but it's okay, due to immaturity.. And i am a nerd. NERD. i wore frameless spects, a freebie canon bag, long socks, worn-out shoes, fringeless (a lil balding too), long skirt, lots of scar on my legs and newly pierced earrings. I was consider one of the quiet girl in class and usually criticised as nerd or whatever. I remembered while i was walking along the street with my bestfriend, person A said to person B, hey do you mind passing the water bottle to the girls there? Person B said which one? and person A said, the uglier one. And person B passed it to me. i was kinda hurt, yes very much so, who won't get hurt isn't a human at all. I was unhappy and stressed out all the time, i was losing hair.... okay, actually that was because of genetics. but still, i was pretty stresed.
So i decided to make a few drastic changes, i studied really hard. 7subjects i think? i got into the top5 in class and was hoping to promote to the express stream. but i missed out a few percentage. sadly. i decided not to care, but simplified my life further. I also began to eliminate my debt, save money, and request for lesser pocket money. I don't understand why. Perhaps i don't like going out.. I am a "home girl".
After months and months of criticism, i decided to do a "make-over", i wore contact lenses and cut some fringe.. i wore ankle socks and carried a better-looking bag. Everyone said i changed, i don't know if it is a good or a bad thing, but, i believe everyone does change for the better? How do i do it? one thing at a time, step by step. I didn't really do a major rehaul in my life, and gradually over the months you'll see some changes. There were lesser criticism and some people started making friends with me.. I learned to be happy that,when applied on a daily basis, can really transform the way you live,in a positive way. I really hate to be that old girl i used to be..
I had friendship problems here and there, i lost some, i gained some. I learnt many things tho, not to trust someone too much as that person might not be the one you thought you trusted the most. She can be really convincing in different perspective, but sometimes.. things are meant to be kept among yourself. And ya, like Threesome group, that actually sucks. Stabbing each other's back can be really common. Very common for young girls to experience this nowadays. Moving on is simple, but unfortunately what you leave behind makes it rather difficult. I cannot deny, I myself still have the hatred in my heart after so many years, i still detest her. I just can't let go, I have no idea why..
I remember getting into relationships that didn't last. Practically it is because of my immaturity, i was really stupid at the point of time. I treated my bfs like a thrash i could say. Truthfully speaking, being with me won't go anywhere, it'll only bring them sorrow. I'm happy now seeing them with their new gfs and having a much happier time in their lives. Really. And now as time goes by, i've learnt many new stuffs and overcome setbacks. I became a much stonger person. I took 2 years to change, Eventually, i started to treasure people more..
At the year of 2009, secondary 4, most of the express classes had graduated. I attended prom, everyone had a blast of their night. Me too, but thinking of going to school next year again can be very very painful.. it seriously sucks to be a sec5 candidate, many people will look down on you think that you're totally a lazy bum or a spoilt brat or someone who has no brain. You'll never know but actually in their heart they do.. You can feel it, somehow or rather. That's why sometimes i felt stupid and i want to leave the school as soon as possible. But i had learnt to be more optimistic and try to look forward and never look back. I still remember i had a really fun clique, 2girls 4guys. Nevertheless, in a blink of an eye, everybody split up. As i've said, you cannot trust anyone so easily, once i even got accused from the fact that all my friends came from her. Just her itself. I was demoralised somehow, it's okay, i have my own friends and i'll find my own friends. No one is depending on you, my dear.
Now in the year 2010, i had completed my examinations. i'm very happy, mostly because i had left the school, i don't like my school. The system and everything but i had no choice. i graduated from this place and i cannot deny that they didn't help me to grow. I had great friends, friends who are there for me now. I love you. You guys had create a huge impact in my lives that will never be forgotten.
oh well, This story has ended after 5years of a journey towards maturity. Our olden days have died but leaving behind a bunch of memories.
But a new story shall begin.
(HAHA LONGEST BLOG I'VE EVER WRITTEN! TOO MUCH INSPIRATION PERHAPS.)
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